Monday, August 15, 2011

Ramadan Night 19 - The Second Entry



So glory to Him
In Whose hands is
The dominion of all things:
And to Him will ye
Be all brought back.
S.36 A.83

Being a "revert" this has special meaning for me.  We are created by God, then we live our life in such a way that we can return to Him in the hereafter.  As a revert, my path was co opted by my geography and my parents, and I am so fortunate that my inner need to explore, to help others took me across the world to regain my natural faith.  I understand this cycle, maybe better than most.
Earlier in life, I tried to embrace Christianity, but it never felt comfortable or right. The fellowship was foreign to me, and I found the doctrine dogmatic and mechanical.  I am sure that sounds very strange being that I am a Muslim and those adjectives are often applied to my faith, but it was a different then.  I think the primary barrier that made it all so artificial to me was the way the others looked at me, pitying my circumstances I suppose, pedantically pulling me into the flock - I felt accommodated, tolerated, but not included.  I never made the connection.
When I travelled to the Middle East, everything was different.  When I interacted with people, I wasn't better or worse then they, I was allowed to be true to myself, and I was accepted. Certainly, not all Christians alienated me, and not all Muslims welcomed me, but the environment was so natural for me, I rarely thought in terms of faith. The real distinction was the way those Muslims lived their faith - everything I grew to admire about them was grounded in Islam, and I began to feel a sense of community for the first time in my life.
I have since converted (reverted), and am at about the midway point in my journey back to God.  I feel the promise and comfort of my faith, know the track I need to make, and I feel the majesty of my Lord everywhere around me.  I has been a long and convoluted trek to regain my path, and I am thankful for His guiding hands, excited by the prospect of going all the way back.    

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