Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Ramadan Night 19 - The Eighth Entry



What! have We given them
A Book before this,
To which they are
Holding fast?
Nay! they say: "We found
Our fathers following
A certain religion,
And we do guide ourselves
By their footsteps."
S.43 A. 21-22

Once again, my reaction to this verse may not be conventional. I thank Allah I have found my way back to Islam, but I cannot help but wonder if I would have returned if I had experienced a different childhood.  I had no family traditions, let alone an inherited faith. I was introduced to Catholicism, but I think the chaos that surrounded me alienated me from the message of a loving and forgiving God. I reached out here and there and experimented with other Christian sects, but could never establish a lasting connection, a sense of community.  
Now I am contemplating the notion that I needed to go through the experiences I did in order to be in the right spot geographically and spiritually to accept Islam. I normally don't think in terms of "things happen for a reason" or "it was destined to happen."  I doubt that God orchestrated the bizarre play I lived through as a child, but if He did, it was worth the result. I prefer to think instead about my future, that I have the efficacy to be the man I want to be with the benefit of God's word and His grace. 
I am back to the verse, imagining what it must be like to reject the religion of your fathers to embrace another, even if it is the right and only choice. I have so much respect for Muslims who were raised lovingly in another faith yet still had the courage to revert.  I wish I could say I knew what I would have been done in a similar circumstance, but I cannot.  I will settle with the fact that I am here, and that I will work harder than ever not to squander my gift no matter how I earned it, no matter how much I deserve it. 

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