Ramadan Night 1

Do ye enjoin right conduct

On the people, and forget

(To practice it) yourselves,

And yet ye study the Scripture?

Will ye not understand?

Nay, seek (Allah's) help

With patient perseverance

S.2 A. 44-45

It is Ramadan, alhamdulilah, and I trying to rededicate myself to my faith.  I have always had a deep connection to the philosophy of Islam, just haven't  been as connected to many of the day to day disciplines like I should have.  I think I have allowed myself to confuse other issues with my relationship to Islam.  I am ashamed for that.  For the last two years, I tried to read the entire Koran during Ramadan.  I didn't succeed but I enjoyed picking it up every night. This year I am going to read different Suras and react here to what I have read.  Please forgive me in advance if my interpretations are awry, I just think it would be nice to read and try to articulate what I feel......

This Surah serves a dual purpose I think: it is at once an admonishment to the Jews, but also intended to all of us, whatever holy book we practice.  I found this pertinent as I begin to observe this holy month, a reminder to work on my behaviors, both outwardly and inwardly. I have worked hard to make sure my actions reflected the tenets of my faith. It's not just about avoiding bad practices, it is being proactive and living a generous and dignified life. I am in a place, where I may be the only Muslim most of my coworkers have known. I know whatever I do will reflect on my faith. I think I do a good job representing a good image, but I want to work on my inner faith, that which no one sees.

I know the reference above deals with hypocrisy of behavior, but I am battling hypocrisy of spirit. I want to work on the things that are not easy for me: praying when I should, praying with the right attitude, communing with other Muslims, humbling myself more completely.

My comfort lies in the last line, with patient perseverance.

I hope to continue these small discussions over the next 30 days, pray that I do, pray that I do it gracefully. Thank you.