Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Ramadan Night 24 - The Thirteenth Entry



And that which is
(Locked up) in (human) breasts
Is made manifest,
That their Lord had been
Well-acquainted with them,
(Even to) that Day?
S.100 A.10-11

This is a reccuring theme - God knows my heart now, and will judge it later.  I am getting more and more comfortable knowing God has access to all the regions of my heart.  Knowing that He does, and I am not already doomed to hell, gives me more courage to face the few things I have kept buried for so long. Not to be flip, but God and I are working on this - I don't know about letting anyone else in this far.  I am a bit overwhelmed honestly, ashamed of what God sees, afraid to look myself sometimes, and terrified that it will drive away anyone who might try to love me. 
Perhaps I just need to keep things closed down for awhile until I can make my heart a better place, at least for human habitation.
*My friends - I haven't forgotten you, and I am praying :)  

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