Ramadan Night 24 - The Eleventh Entry

Their reward is with God:
Gardens of eternity,
Beneath which rivers flow;
They will dwell therein
For ever; God well pleased
With them, and they with Him:
All this for such as
Fear their Lord and Cherisher.

S.98 A.8

The more I read, the more I pray, the more I examine my heart as a Muslim, the more I begin to understand the appeal of heaven. I truly believe my poor self-esteem made me reject the notion of heaven as I did not feel I would ever be deserving.  That turned into some sort of self-righteous indignation about the exclusivity of the after-life, and I spiraled down from there. But now a new feeling is rising.  I recognize that which I read in this holy book as what I am beginning to feel in my heart.  Heaven will not be a reward I do not deserve, but a logical continuation of the progress I am making in my heart.  I want my heart to reflect the beauty of heaven, and I pray I have enough time to make it so.