Ramadan Night 15

"And Allah doth increase
In guidance those who seek
Guidance: and the things
That endure, Good Deeds,
Are best in the sight
Of thy Lord, as rewards,
And best in respect of
(Their) eventual returns."
S.19 A.76

I have to keep this message in my mind - Allah doth increase in guidance those who seek guidance.  There are times when I think I am struggling alone, using only my mind and my determination.  I am guilty of reading my Koran, processing it, then creating resolutions, and venturing out with my intentions.  I realize now that this is a poor plan; God does not innoculate me, He is with me.  The more I read the Koran, the more I study, the more prayers I learn, the more I connect to a present God.  I have talked earlier about my adjustment to the fact that God knows my thoughts, but it was an incomplete analysis.  God knows my thoughts because He is with me,  therefore I always have access to Him.  Now, instead of thinking that He will know what I do and think, He is actually part of me, and any transgressions on my part are just that much more profane.

The verse previous to this one mentions that Allah "extends a rope", and that reminds me how far I have yet to go.  I like the combination of these two levels of support, pulling me up then guiding me. I know this must sound naive, but I am just coming to these simple realizations, and they are extremely valuable.  The lessons I learn ebb and flow throughout the day, but I am coming back to them more often, more rapidly.  Also, at the risk of sounding even more like a novice, this helps me understand why I can be a role model as a Muslim, as I have a great core now, and if I simply allow it, God will guide and support me.  This is amazing to me.