K - Mudeer Kabeer

It is Ramadan, and I am being particularly honest these days.  I am reading my Koran faithfully, reacting to the things that are exceptionally beautiful and poignant to me, and I am examining many aspects of my life as truthfully as possible.  For those of you who are reading, I am so grateful - next to confessing to my God, your support is so important to me now.  I would be remiss this holy month if I did not write about the man who made such a strong impression on me, who became my role model as a Muslim.  I acknowledged him briefly in the post on my conversion, but it is time to do a better job.

I first met K when he was studying at my university in the U.S., working towards his PhD in education.  He took one of my courses in curriculum, and I could tell right away that he wasn't just chasing his sheepskin, he was there to learn as much as possible and to gather resources to take back to his country and enrich the school system he loved.  He worked very diligently, and we quickly became friends.  I helped him here and there as he finished his degree, knowing that my small efforts would pay large dividends back in Saudi Arabia.  I was very proud to see him walk across the stage to receive his doctorate a few years later.

I was always so impressed with the way K handled himself in my world, a world quite a bit away from that of the Middle East.  He navigated it smoothly without compromising his culture and his faith.  Moreover, he did a wonderful job with his family, protecting them while allowing them the freedom to thrive in an American educational system.  The kids had a strong base, I knew they would be just fine.

I have also mentioned how kind and gentle K was, particularly with his family.  He was a loving and doting father, but I could tell he was also providing a structured, discipline household.  His grace extended to other circles, as I watched him interact with faculty and staff.  He was always kind, and I truly never heard him say anything disrespectful about anyone.  I could see how closely his demeanor and behaviors were to his faith, and I found that very commendable.  I often wondered if he ever had any bad thoughts at all.

We went our separate ways, but were reunited several years later when he asked me to work with him in London, helping to restore a school that he was now leading.  It was a tremendous challenge, and I decided to join him.  We worked together for a year, and made great strides against some long odds.  I watched him that year, and he was as consistent as always, dignified and polite, passionate and restrained.  It was a good test though, as his job was very stressful, and we handled many difficult and complex situations.  For those of you who know me, you are probably a bit ahead of me when I tell you that I too tested him.  I was very aggressive in the face of the obstacles before us, and I pushed him hard, not always appropriately.  He was patient with me, and I only managed to get a small rise out him once, illustrating his superhuman strength.

We are still in contact, and I think of him often.  I think of him when I want a good image or example for myself when I try to be a better man, a good Muslim.  I think of him when I deal with my daughters, hoping to be half the father he is. And I think of him when I feel my temper rising, hoping to tap into his reserve.  He is back now in his country, patiently improving the education system there, and I have no doubt he will succeed - I know how much he taught me.

http://philosopherking-michael.blogspot.com/2010/08/my-conversion.html