*I received some very bad news today, but I am determined to continue to keep up with my reading and my posts. I would appreciate any prayers you could send my way :)
Enter ye here in peace and security.
And We shall remove from their hearts
Any lurking sense of injury:
(they will be) brothers
(joyfully) facing each other
On thrones (of dignity).
There no sense of fatigue shall touch them,
nor shall they (ever) be asked to leave.
Tell My servants that I am indeed the Oft-Forgiving,
Most Merciful.
S.15 A.46-49
One translation of this beautiful verse mentions the removal of "jealousy" as well as injury from the heart. Oh that I could get to this place where my heart is free of injury or jealousy! I do feel better praying, reading my Koran, meditating - but I am being tested in so many ways right now that my struggle is wearing me down. Knowing much of my situation is of my own making, doesn't ease the burden. I have lost a friend that once was a great confidant, and that increases the pain.
I do find solace here in these words, and I think I will reread this passage over and over the next few weeks. I need some peace in my heart, and relief from my fatigue. I am content in the promise of God's forgiveness, but I am also working on mine. I have a long way to go, but I do want this sense of brotherhood and sisterhood, joyfully facing each other. I ask for the forgiveness of God, my family, my friends, myself, and my foes. I just don't have the room to carry any of this in my heart anymore.
I am stopping myself more and more when a bad thought rises, or when I feel the need to join in a negative conversation. I am doing a better job, but I have a long way to go. I realize these actions hurt others in so many ways, and I want to keep coming back to this verse, coming back to a dignified peace.
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