Ramadan Night 15 - The Third Entry

Man is a creature of haste:
Soon (enough) will I show
You My Signs; So
Ask Me not
To hasten them!
They say: "When will this
Promise come to pass,
If you are telling the truth?"

S.21 A.37-38

I just realized that I am halfway through the Koran, page-wise anyway.  I am determined to finish it this Ramadan, but to do it correctly,  reading it all, thinking, processing and reacting to things here.  I appreciate the feedback I am getting, supporting and challenging my thoughts, it has been a nice bonus to this journey.

I was pleased to see that it just wasn't just me who is prone to haste. Seriously though, I think haste has not been my problem since I converted, I think it has been the opposite. I haven't prayed as I should, nor did I read the Koran as I would have liked to. Now I am using this month to get on a track, to reestablish myself responsibly.  I know I will pray as I should, and I am truly enjoying reading my Koran, that I know that will continue as well. I am still not in a hurry though, not wishing for my reward too soon.  I have a lot of work to do, and I am seeing some slow development.  

I guess I am still in the stages where I have to earn the right to ask God for His grace, forgiveness, and rewards, and I don't mind.  I am not focusing my efforts in order to have God help me with my trials and issues, I know I have to be patient on those. It is the time of my life where I am mature enough to honestly take stock of where I am and to commit to a responsible course.   I have reasonable expectations for the changes I am making, and I am feeling better about my faith daily.  For now, that is enough.    

*Epilogue - today was the second consecutive day that I overtly watched my behavior, attitude, and comments.  It has been interesting - today alone, I left four or five "invitations" to entertain gossip in mid air.  I suppressed several urges to ask questions about the plight of a few people who have irritated me, and I gently refused to team up with a few others to work against a difficult colleague.  How miserable I must have been when I was attending to these things, the world seems so full of them.  I am very happy with the day.