Ramadan Night 4

To all are degrees (or ranks)
According to their deeds
For thy Lord
Is not unmindful

Of anything that they do

S.6 A. 132

This is a useful reminder that my actions are in degrees, good or bad.  I think some believe being a Muslim is simply conforming to a set of rules, a set of prescriptive actions, and that a pious life is a just a  matter of obeying the rules. Nothing could be further from the truth for me.  The rules of my day provide only the framework for my life, they do not flesh it out. They do give me the structure and consistency necessary to process the world spiritually as I make my way through it as a man.

The prohibitions of my faith remove daily trifles with unimportant and dangerous distractions.  I shudder when I think how much time, money, and grief I invested in alcohol and other forbidden sins, and I honestly wish they had never been options in the first place. Now it is not simply a matter of avoiding them, it is purifying my mind, understanding the evil, educating others when I can.  More specifically, not worrying about what I drink, but why I don't want to alter my consciousness, understanding why my mind should be clear in order to deal with the more complex issues I face in the day.  Without these debilitating practices to weigh me down, to distract me, I can reach new levels of thought, new levels of morality.

I cannot express the value of prayer, even practiced as imperfectly as it is in my case.  Five times a day, I am called out of my secular pragmatism, and reminded of my path, my larger, purer goals.  Even if I don't make the prayer, my mind is redirected, often realizing I am involved in a petty thought or action, a haram state.  Five times a day, I am alerted to my drift, soon enough to return to my path.  When I do pray, I am completely divorced from my day, in a different place.  Whatever troubles or frustrates me disappears, and when I return to the world they pale and I see them differently.  I can put down pain and pray.  I don't pray for the cessation of the pain, I pray for the strength to deal with it. 
I move through my day with a standard to start from, not to settle for.  The discipline of my faith is a starting point, not a goal to reach and retire.  I know there are degrees to my behavior, my thoughts, my morality.  I am challenged to achieve much more than simple compliance to a code.  I am sure my God knows my potential, and expects so much more from me.