1) Childproof usually means Michaelproof
2) The women in my life usually answer the question they think I should be asking
3) The loudest people are the closest
4) Black licorice remains a mystery to me
5) Jeff Goldblum can dock his laptop with an alien craft (Independence Day), I can't get my printer to communicate with mine
6) The most intuitive people are the least
7) How can fifty different substances in the vending machine all be worth exactly one dollar?
8) I cannot decipher the logic or pattern behind the daily pricing of a two-liter bottle of Coke
9) I fail to understand why, if you let someone out in traffic ahead of you and they don't wave, you are not allowed to ram them
10) I have decided that the greatest of all Hollywood special effects is the one that made Joe Pesci look tough
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