I really enjoyed my spiritual journey last Ramadan when I went through the Holy Koran and read and commented on each sura. I have kept much of the progress I made, but I have slipped on things too. I thought it would be nice to read and reflect on some Hadith now as I begin to prepare for another change in my life.
"The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for."
This is a very relevant reference for me on so many levels. First, I have worked very hard on my intentions, making sure they were correct, not self-serving, and worthy of Muslim who loves God. I am comfortable that I do most things for the right reason, and if there is personal benefit that follows, then it is a natural consequence. My intentions aren't always pure, and lately they have been tested by a particularly noxious person, but all in all, I have resisted changing my nature to meet the challenge. I am a very ambitious person, and I spend a great deal of time reflecting on the motivation behind those ambitions. To me, this hadith speaks to motivation and reward, two things that have been on my mind lately.
I realize now that at my age and station, to accomplish things I must be out a head of them leading the way (for awhile anyway). When you do this with good people, they are grateful and willing to show that gratitude in a million ways. This often flatters me but makes me increasingly more uncomfortable. I really do look at the projects I work on now as sustainable programs designed to do good for a great number of people - I have realized late in life that these entities need to be free standing and unattached to a personality in order to reach meaningful fruition. It is a delicate dance, creating an initial dependence then transitioning to full autonomy. Luckily, I have chosen wonderful people to work with lately, and I see this all unfolding before me. It really is far more wonderful to see these teachers recognize their own worth and excellence than to hear them praise me. Twenty years ago, I would not have understood this kind of reward I think. Feeling this new kind of satisfaction only drives me harder towards other ventures now.
The second part of this hadith is very pertinent for me, as I continue to try to understand the role of love in my religion. I have been selfish in love and I have been almost completely selfless in love, but I am not sure either motive was correct. Most likely, I simply committed the sin of placing myself before God, then placing someone else there. I am still not sure how this is meant to work, how this partnership with another human being enhances my relationship with God. I have some work left to do here I guess.
I plan to keep reflecting on things during this next month as I prepare to move to my new job. Although I will be very busy, I think it is an appropriate time to take measure of myself and my relationship with God.
"The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for."
This is a very relevant reference for me on so many levels. First, I have worked very hard on my intentions, making sure they were correct, not self-serving, and worthy of Muslim who loves God. I am comfortable that I do most things for the right reason, and if there is personal benefit that follows, then it is a natural consequence. My intentions aren't always pure, and lately they have been tested by a particularly noxious person, but all in all, I have resisted changing my nature to meet the challenge. I am a very ambitious person, and I spend a great deal of time reflecting on the motivation behind those ambitions. To me, this hadith speaks to motivation and reward, two things that have been on my mind lately.
I realize now that at my age and station, to accomplish things I must be out a head of them leading the way (for awhile anyway). When you do this with good people, they are grateful and willing to show that gratitude in a million ways. This often flatters me but makes me increasingly more uncomfortable. I really do look at the projects I work on now as sustainable programs designed to do good for a great number of people - I have realized late in life that these entities need to be free standing and unattached to a personality in order to reach meaningful fruition. It is a delicate dance, creating an initial dependence then transitioning to full autonomy. Luckily, I have chosen wonderful people to work with lately, and I see this all unfolding before me. It really is far more wonderful to see these teachers recognize their own worth and excellence than to hear them praise me. Twenty years ago, I would not have understood this kind of reward I think. Feeling this new kind of satisfaction only drives me harder towards other ventures now.
The second part of this hadith is very pertinent for me, as I continue to try to understand the role of love in my religion. I have been selfish in love and I have been almost completely selfless in love, but I am not sure either motive was correct. Most likely, I simply committed the sin of placing myself before God, then placing someone else there. I am still not sure how this is meant to work, how this partnership with another human being enhances my relationship with God. I have some work left to do here I guess.
I plan to keep reflecting on things during this next month as I prepare to move to my new job. Although I will be very busy, I think it is an appropriate time to take measure of myself and my relationship with God.
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