Ok, I know it's a sexist word, at least to some, and for me to begin a post about what it means to be a man is probably not very wise. But I am a man, I cannot help it, nor am I comfortable with anyone else defining who I am. I am also very aware that if I don't take the time to do this, someone else will. So here goes, what being a man means to me:
First and foremost, I need to acknowledge God, and to acknowledge the strengths he has give me. Those strengths include concern for the welfare of others and the ability to express myself. Lately, I have witnessed others victimizing those they felt were less powerful than themselves, and in the last several incidents, those perpetrators were women. In the past, I was willing and able to engage these people in defense of those they hurt - this was not a strength by the way, just a convenient exercise to indulge something that was not a strength, my proclivity for conflict. This is the hallmark of rationalization, that occasional intersection of motive and opportunity that launder a sinful act in the wake of an injustice. I had read Kant's concepts of duty, lectured on it, and missed the point completely. I have risked whatever I have at times to engage these skirmishes, not because I am honorable, but merely because I probably don't value myself very much, and any loss was not really a loss, or worse yet, most likely inevitable eventually anyway. I have heard that many heroes (not calling myself one) have given themselves for similar reasons.
As a man, I need to learn to advocate for others (not just women) in a different way, and if I am ever honest with myself, my courage will have to be forged a new way. I have a few of these tests in front of me at this very moment, and no, there will be no frontal assault this time. After all, any damage to be would be minimal and selfishly inflicted while the collateral damage done to others would be far more serious. I do imagine it will call for some sort of sacrifice on my part, but the kind I don't want to indulge. As I am writing this, a very uncomfortable realization is forming as I begin to formulate a new kind of response to one of these issues. More like dread actually, a good indicator I am now thinking correctly.
So chivalry will be redefined from this moment, at least for me anyway.
First and foremost, I need to acknowledge God, and to acknowledge the strengths he has give me. Those strengths include concern for the welfare of others and the ability to express myself. Lately, I have witnessed others victimizing those they felt were less powerful than themselves, and in the last several incidents, those perpetrators were women. In the past, I was willing and able to engage these people in defense of those they hurt - this was not a strength by the way, just a convenient exercise to indulge something that was not a strength, my proclivity for conflict. This is the hallmark of rationalization, that occasional intersection of motive and opportunity that launder a sinful act in the wake of an injustice. I had read Kant's concepts of duty, lectured on it, and missed the point completely. I have risked whatever I have at times to engage these skirmishes, not because I am honorable, but merely because I probably don't value myself very much, and any loss was not really a loss, or worse yet, most likely inevitable eventually anyway. I have heard that many heroes (not calling myself one) have given themselves for similar reasons.
As a man, I need to learn to advocate for others (not just women) in a different way, and if I am ever honest with myself, my courage will have to be forged a new way. I have a few of these tests in front of me at this very moment, and no, there will be no frontal assault this time. After all, any damage to be would be minimal and selfishly inflicted while the collateral damage done to others would be far more serious. I do imagine it will call for some sort of sacrifice on my part, but the kind I don't want to indulge. As I am writing this, a very uncomfortable realization is forming as I begin to formulate a new kind of response to one of these issues. More like dread actually, a good indicator I am now thinking correctly.
So chivalry will be redefined from this moment, at least for me anyway.
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