Ramadan Night 23 - The Tenth Entry

By no means!

But on their hearts

Is the stain of the (ill)

Which they do!

S.83 A.14

These last suras are shorter, but as in the case of this verse, full of insight and revelation for me.  This reference made me think of my heart in a completely new context - not just the place where I feel love and register pain, but the place I originate sin, the place where my malice for others is generated.  I always imagined my heart to be a tattered canvass where the joys and sorrows of my life and loves are splattered recklessly in a cacophony of color and jagged juxtaposition. It is a piece of modern art, having no discernible form, and one that looks better from a distance.  I thought the chaos that masochistically mingled the beauty and brutality reflected the good intentions of my love and the painful returns I suffered.  Now I see that painting differently, and instead of vivid brushstrokes I see stains, and the pattern of those stains rising up off the canvass.

I have hurt more than I have been hurt; I have betrayed more than I have been betrayed; and I have let others down far more often than they I.  The pain I feel in my heart is the pain I have inflicted on others. I don't know how to remove these stains, or if I am meant to paint over them - if I deserve to.  I do know that I don't want to add to this ugly, tangled mess, and that my heart is capable of producing something closer to art, something that reflects a  better man.

Ramadan Night 23 - The Ninth Entry

Him Who created thee,
Fashioned thee in due proportion,
And gave thee a just bias.
S.82 A.7

I take the "due proportion" reference here not to be physical attributions, but instead indicates we have been given the tools to accept the exceptional destiny He has created for us.  We alone of all His creations have been charged thusly, but He has not done so inequitably. We can reason, we can empathize, and we can change our environment for the better. I think I forget this responsibility often, instead focusing on the gifts I have been given, and the misdirected profits I accrue.  This is where I need to remember that I have a "just bias", the capacity to evaluate my thoughts and actions in relation to my duty to God.  There is no excuse for me to forget my path, and no forgiveness for me if I hurt others in my misguided and selfish actions. In the end, it is very simple - I have what I need to serve my Lord, I have the ability to recognize my success and failure, and I have His word to remind me - really much more simple than I often make it.

Ramadan Night 23 - The Eighth Entry

Verily this is no less
Than a message

To (all) the worlds:

(With profit) to whoever
Among you wills
To go straight.
S.81 A.27-28

I have never been in a mosque where I had any sense of the socio-economic status of its worshipers, any sense of cultural or racial differences, any sense of any division at all.  Shoulder to shoulder, we stand in  comforting anonymity sharing God's grace. This is one of the glorious aspects of my faith, probably the only example of  a successful egalitarian community on earth.  With apologies to my Christian friends, I have never seen a beggar or misfortunate soul sitting on the steps of a church beseeching my help; rather I have seen them shepherded gently to a back door where they were tended to lovingly, but out of sight.  In contrast, I rarely visit a mosque where I do not have to pass these brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, to enter to make my prayers.  Their poverty, their plight, the rags they drape themselves in are indictments of my faith if left ignored or made invisible.  I walk into the mosque with the welfare of these souls added to my prayers.

I love the quiet sanctity of my faith, the universal invitation extended to us all, our willingness to live it daily and openly, and the recognition and embrace of our responsibility to each other, rich or poor, white or black, male or female, strong or crippled, blessed or destitute - a community devoted to a gracious God.

*I love this verse above, but my favorite verse in the Koran is also in this sura.  I wrote a post about it a month ago getting ready for Ramadan, and I have included the link below (didn't want to "cheat" my mission to read and write about each sura this month :)

http://philosopherking-michael.blogspot.com/2011/05/my-favorite-verse-in-quran.html

Ramadan Night 23 - The Seventh Entry

Each of them,
That day, will have
Enough concern (of his own)
To make him indifferent
To the others.
S.80 A.37

This has always been a very difficult concept for me, potentially the greatest obstacle to my faith - the eventual separation of my family and God.  Perhaps I am not yet at the point where my self-esteem accepts the purity of God's love, and I don't yet know the difference between the comfort and support of my family and the eternal embrace of God's grace.  I do know that I am still in that immature state of my faith where I cannot understand how I could deserve heaven and others, particularly those I love, could earn hell. And finally, probably unforgiveably, I am not yet at the place where I would choose to be in heaven if my daughters had been sent to hell.  I know this is twisted thinking, and I am working contritely to correct my concept of this dilemma - but this is not a battle of logic, it is an issue of faith.  I will pray that God increases my faith so that I can understand my unique and personal relationship with Him, and I accept no other responsibility than that of my own fate. 

Ramadan Night 23 - The Sixth Entry

What! Are ye the more

Difficult to create

Or the heaven (above)?
(Allah) hath constructed it:
On high hath He raised
Its canopy, and He hath
Given it order and perfection.
Its night doth He
Endow with darkness,
And its splendour doth He
Bring out (with light).
And the earth, moreover,
Hath He extended
(To a wide expanse).
S.79 A.27-30

What a beautiful, humbling reminder for us - we are but one of God's creations, blessed with incredible gifts and responsibilities, yet so insignificant in design, requiring only an after thought from God  to bring forth. I think a lot about nature these days, and I think about man's relationship to it and God.  We tend to look in two directions at nature - up and down, but not as we should, not in the same glance.  When we look down at animals and other life, we take it as a coronation, a testament to our ascendancy.  It has been a dangerous perspective historically, for as we grew comfortable, as we became civilized, we mistook this relative elevation for our own deification.  

We then did the unimaginable, we looked up and out at the majesty of nature, and disconnected it from God.  When we now look up into space, we do not so in wonder, but in arrogant calculation with dreams of conquest and exploitation.  We have pushed God to the edge of our universe and will chase Him further still when the expanse of space no longer outstrips our  avarice. And many of us have stopped raising our gaze at all, not wanting to dare His scrutiny as we cruelly rule this earthly world. What a poor substitute for God we have become, petty and lascivious manipulating our resources, mistreating His creatures and each other, trading malice and jealousy for forgiveness and grace. 

These words are here to remind us, to place us in the continuum of His dominion, to direct our gaze up and down, to provide a humble perspective to contemplate His Being, our faith. His creatures are our responsibility, not our toys or playthings.  The beauty and incomprehensibility of the universe around us is the context He provides to humble us, to bring Him to our minds and hearts each time we look around, each time we look up.

I think a lot about man, nature, and God - I dare not divorce one from another. 

Ramadan Night 23 - The Fifth Entry

The day that
The spirit and the angels
Will stand forth in ranks,
None shall speak
Except any who is
Permitted by The Most Gracious,
And he will say
What is right.
That is the True Day:
Therefore, whoso will, let him
Take a (straight) return
To his Lord!
S.78 A.38-39

This True Day is the day I practice for every evening, when I challenge my day after sunset.  I want to look at the day's behaviors and thoughts critically and to account for them responsibily before I sleep.  This is a a good test, to look at my deeds honestly, not to rationalize or defend them. I like doing this before I sleep each night, I like the clarity it gives me.  It is good reminder that I will need to do this again, for very serious stakes.  For now, it helps me clear the day and to reinvigorate myself for the coming day and its challenges. 
Most of all, for now, it prepares me for that later portion of the night when I want to lay my head on my pillow and slip into the night peacefully, dreaming of the promise of a new day.

Ramadan Night 23 - The Fourth Entry

By the (winds) sent forth
One after another
(To man's profit),
Which then blow violently
In tempestuous gusts,
And scatter (things)
Far and wide,
Then separate them,
One from another,
Then spread abroad
A reminder,
Whether of justification
Or of warning,
Assuredly, what ye are
Promised must come to pass.
S.77 A.1-7

The wind is the word of God - it is a boon and it is an omen, it will separate the wheat from the chaff, and the good among us from the evil.  Winds bring nourishing rain, and they usher in storms and hurricanes.  They are comforting and they can be terrible and destructive.  We can no more ignore the word of God than the winds that herald a summer rain or a winter gale.  When we are just and chaste, we stand humbly in the face of a gentle breeze that cools our skin and buoys our spirits - when we are false and base, we cower helplessly in timorous  awe of  the tempest engulfing us.  I want to heed God's word, I don't want to face the wrath of his vengeful winds.