Bullies

It wasn't until my last employment stop that I learned where bullying begins. I watched in a weird kind of horror and fascination as a 300 pound obnoxiously loud teacher terrorized her students with the blessing of the President of the college. She battled with nearly everyone else around her as well, including a short fracas with me that ended in an  complaint after the third time she told me "you know how you Muslim men are" and the tenth time she called a fellow Muslim "Chemical Ali the terrorist." I lost the complaint (evidently these things are ok in that part of the world or with the school or both), but she steered clear of me from that point on.
I saw her humiliate the young people she was charged to educate and protect, and her colleagues told me she liked to reduce her students to tears. As a single woman with no children, she was an expert in everything including marriage and child-rearing. She took great pleasure in leaving her classroom door open as the bellowed at her students, knowing that nearly everyone in the building had to hear her. Nearly every student complaint was stifled by her friend the Dean, and those that reached higher fell on deaf ears - the same mouths connected to those ears told people like me that students came first and that they were upset that legitimate complaints never made it to their ears (ears that were only a few hundred feet away physically but a few hundred thousand compassionately).
And no, this post isn't about her - she is just a recent and stark example of a bully tolerated in the one place she should be shunned. Teachers teach us to bully. Not all, not  most, not many, but enough. It is bad enough that these bullies exist in places like this, but the real sin is the number of peers who duck and thank someone the animosity isn't directed at them. Presidents, PhDs, Provosts, and Professors turn the other way while secretaries and part-time staff seem to be the only folks around with the courage or fortitude to stand up and protect the students the rest of us use as literary license for our own petty provincial desires. Not very glamorous, this industry of intimidation of ours!
I have been a bully too, at school and at home. I have used the inequity of my power in ways that were not ethical and did not benefit my students or my children. I suppose I have bullied staff too, but those lines are far more clear, and oddly much better defended.
As teachers and parents we are to lead this war on bullying perhaps a stage too late in its development. And its territory is expanding into politics and religion - combatants on the same side downing out each other in animus and abandoning collaboration for strategic collusion. We bully with volume, we bully with intellect, and we bully with the exploitation of fear. I am not sure where kids aren't learning  how to bully anymore.
I will work on my own house - understanding that I have more power and influence than I have ever had, and I hope to balance it with wisdom and compassion. I have the ability to touch thousands of lives in my job, and to perhaps draw up a different kind of blueprint. I will fight the bully in me, and like those brave staff members I have known, will fight those bullies who frighten me as well. I just don't have the stomach for this kind of cowardice anymore.
 

Ramadan 1433 - Amira, Khadijeh, and Hanadi

 

Three more wonderful Academy sisters!  And like a broken record, I will note how valuable yet different these ladies are. When I think of the 30 plus members of the academy, I realize that most are my favorites in one way or another. No exceptions here. If these were the only three exceptional members of this team, I would have still considered this academy to a great success. I am just so amazed when I think of the depth, breadth, and soul of this wonderful group.

Hanadi is a very serious and compassionate teacher. She is soft spoken but very intelligent and active. Says a friend: "Hanadi is a warm-hearted, dedicated, and motivated teacher. She loves her work as well as her students to whom she is like an elder sister - she is also a good leader." I suspected that Hanadi was dealing with a lot of things outside the academy while she was with us, yet she did a great job and was one of the first to finish her research. I respect her greatly for this :)

Amira is the owner of my favorite smile in the academy. She is almost always smiling; it is very genuine and sincere, and a bit playful.  I think it is just a refection of the kindness in her heart. From a friend in the academy: "Amira, a great mother and teacher.... She is very active and loves what she does.... eager to learn and never misses a course or workshop.. I really appreciate all mother teachers who would always find time to develop themselves and never quit.  She always draws a smile on your face, as she is always smiling when talking to people around her, I bet people like being in her company.."  I couldn't agree more! Mothers like  Amira really exemplify what is best about this academy - balancing work and home life, yet maintaining  a vital and passionate curiosity about their profession, their students, and their peers. Amazing really.

Khadijeh has my favorite brain in the academy. She is an intellectual with a big heart and true passion for her faith. I chuckle sometimes as her earnestness, it is very refreshing. I enjoyed discussing academic subjects with her - someone who can equal or even surpass my own fervor for such things. I had the great opportunity to observe Khadijeh in the classroom, and I was very impressed. She was perfect in that place, working with older girls that could appreciate her intelligence and benefit from her quiet energy. She motivated them easily, and I could tell she had cultivated a very good relationship with them. It was a pleasure to watch them moving through the lesson together.

When people ask me why I started this academy, or why I put a great deal of my own resources into, my answer has changed over the past year. Originally, I thought the love and care I felt would find its way to the thousands of Palestinian students spread across the region in those humble schools. Helping their teachers was just my an indirect, pragmatic way to make my own contribution there. But after working with these teachers and administrators, I realize how much I care about them too. All of them impress me, all of them inspire me. And as funny as this might sound, I get so much out of this experience, it may even be approaching a selfish level. Whatever the case, I thank Allah that I was lead to this academy, and the wonderful people there, like Amira, Khadijeh, and Hanadi.

Shorouq - The Best Looking, Most Intelligent Sister

August 6, 2011

To Whom It May Concern:
I have been asked to provide a letter of recommendation for Ms. Shorouq Fakhouri, and I am very pleased and honored to do so. I have known Shorouq for more than two years, in which time I have found her to be a consummate professional, able administrator, and passionate advocate for the teachers and children of Jordan. She is simply one of the finest human beings I know.
I first met Shorouq when I contacted UNRWA offering them educational resources for their schools. I met with the Director of Education who introduced me to Shorouq. She was immediately enthusiastic, had a great grasp on the potential benefits the resources would offer, and promptly volunteered to help me in any way possible. She followed through on that promise, as she always does. She has a very strong sense of integrity, and it serves her well.
On several occasions, I had the opportunity to see her working with teachers and students in the field. She is very kind, supportive, and understanding. They all reacted well to her authentic approach, and I saw many signs of the good work they had accomplished together. Shorouq motivates people with her enthusiasm and her intelligence, she leads them honestly, and she keeps them working together with her empathy and trust.
I have had the great pleasure of discussing theory and practice often with Shorouq. She is very bright and well informed in the literature of her field. She is passionate, and lives those theories for all to see. I couldn’t imagine a better resource for those teachers – she has the unique ability to blend theory and practice, and to motivate others to make the same connections. I saw evidence of this in each school that I visited.
Shorouq’s interests are not limited to her own job and its responsibilities. She helped me make many contacts in the region, allowing me to work with schools all over Jordan and in Palestine. She is a generous peer, and networks very efficiently. Shorouq brings people together naturally, and nurtures her relationships. She is a great associate, and a better mentor. I was constantly amazed as I recognized the breadth of her influence, the depth of her contributions to education.
I have no doubt that Shorouq will be a tremendous asset to any program or institution she chooses to work with. She has my highest recommendation! Please feel free to contact me if you require any further information.

Sincerely,


Michael Morsches