Ramadan Night 22

Then did they taste
The evil result of
Their conduct, and the end
Of their conduct
Was perdition.
S.65 A.9

I often wonder about people that I see in the world who appear to be evil, or at least, do consistently evil things.  I wonder if they enjoy what they are doing, or if they think about the path they are undertaking.  To be honest, sometimes when that evil is a little to close to me, I take little comfort in the knowledge that they will pay for it eventually when finally judged.  This verse does remind me though, that they will face the consequences of their actions. 

Sometimes I wonder if evil people always know they are evil.  If not, then I have a whole lot more to think about. If evil people don't realize they are evil, then how do I know I am not evil, or at least, I do not do evil things?  I think it is a fair question. I know this sounds odd, but how confident can any of us be that when we are judged, we will prevail over a lifetime of sins and mistakes?  So now, evil has a different context for me - no longer fretting over the evil of others, but making sure my thoughts, my words, my actions are pure, and the consequences thereof are not harmful.  I never have contemplated whether or not I was evil, or that my actions were either.  Perhaps it is time to start reevaluating.

Ramadan Night 2

Whatever good, (O man!)

Happens to thee, is from Allah;

But whatever evil happens

To thee, is from thyself

And We have sent thee

As a Messenger

To (instruct) mankind.

And enough is Allah

For a witness.

He who obeys

The Messenger, obeys Allah

But if any turn away,

We have not sent thee

To watch over them.

S.4 A 79-80

This is the type of message I would not have understood years ago, as a matter of fact, it was the kind I misguidedly despised.  And at first, its sounds as if God is like a petty parent - ie, if my child turns out good, I was a great parent, if not, there was something wrong with the child. I still have that "ear" in my head that can hear these words incorrectly, but now, that ear is no longer connected to my heart.  I know the intention of this verse precisely now because I can feel it in my heart.

Good and Evil were always on my mind then.  Not so much good as evil. When I thought of religion, I thought of evil things. I did not ascribe evil to religion, did not focus my thoughts on the idea that religions were evil, that they did evil things, nay it was that they did such a poor job reconciling their doctrines with the presence of evil all around us.  It was the distance from God and the devil among us, the devil within us that troubled me.  This angst was not born in the malignancy  of my childhood, but in the witnessing  of terror around the world, terror that singled out children, women, decent souls.

When I balked at the idea that God could favor me, in seeming preferential grace, the priests and other religious caretakers tried to makes sense of it all for me.  They took exactly the wrong tack.  They told me about the  personal relationship I was to have with God, how much He loved me, and that I should love myself so that I could accept Him.  They just could not get me to understand that God would bless me, even over something as minor as a wart, and let a child shrivel up an die half a world away. They were good with the good, lousy with the evil.

I truly mean it when I say they knew the concept of good.  I saw this in hundreds of ministries in the third world, countless priests, ministers, lay folk who did wondrous things for there less fortunate brothers and sisters.  They did not though, in my estimation, do a very good job explaining the presence of evil that  made their very existence there necessary.  I turned to other sources to understand evil - critical theory, Marxism, psychology, philosophy, etc.  It would be quite awhile before I would come back, full circle, to faith for my answers.

I hear this message now in simpler form, a form I can work with, a form that can guide me.  Good and evil here are the fruit of our own industry.  It is not the by product of the actions of others. Faith guides the individual, and eventually unites the group.  We work on our own behaviors to improve those of others.  When we lead a good life, we inspire others to do so as well.  When enough of us agree on the tenets of a righteous life, we strengthen and support each other to change our environment, eventually our world.  Evil then is a vestige that can be cauterized, localized, eradicated when enough us follow our path.  Evil is the selfish resistance to this path. 

We do not create this code, is has been provided by Allah ( the good), and anything else is our sinful contribution (the evil).  God does not take credit for good while absolving Himself from evil.  In submission, humility, and honesty we thank Him for the gift of the promise of good, and beg his mercy and forgiveness for our stubborn proclivity for evil.  Now when I see evil, I know what it is, and I know why it can flourish.  When it touches me from without, it is not my fault unless I succumb, unless I ignore it, unless I allow it to reach and destroy others.  

For me now, the issue is clear - walk my path, fight the evils of others as I should, and keep my mind open to my God.  I will have choices, and I will have the benefit of guidance in making them. I am free, and I am aware.