There are moments, walking out into the moonlight, that I miss you much more than I care to. I grin as I imagine a jealous sun casting a backwards glance to the east, not wanting to leave you for even a day. When my heart is full imagining you smiling somewhere, I play a silly game bouncing my eyes from star to star back to Acton, Amman, or Alexandria, back to a moment locked deeply away in my heart. On lesser nights, I turn my gaze away unable to mitigate the pain without hoping against your happiness. And I close my eyes and wonder about loneliness and emptiness and endlessness, and the expanse of pain and space. I move inwards then and pray for a separate place, a universe without time or blame, somewhere to tuck the bits of my love that were pure and perfect and painless. Someplace protected from the rest of me, someplace near my soul perhaps, someplace to visit from time to time, someplace simply to rest.
beautiful
ReplyDeleteThank you
ReplyDelete