Naivete'

I am frustrated at and blessed with my perpetual proclivity to be one step behind the rest of the world. I don't know if I am temporarily stupid, overly optimistic (yes my friends you heard that one here first!), or just forever naive. Here are some of my gaffes or misinterpretations of my environment:

Balms vs Bombs
Was really shook up one day in church when they started to sing, "There is a Bomb in Gilead"

Full of Herself
Thought my mother stuck up when I read the end of her note to my first grade teacher.
Thank you,
Mrs. Morsches
Didn't understand the function of the comma, thought she was thanking herself.

No Thank You to the 23rd Psalm
Couldn't get past the first line: "The Lord is my sheperd, I shall not want"
Why wouldn't I want the Lord to be my sheperd?

Yeah, Duh
"If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns"
Ok, then if I see someone who is not a law enforcement agent with a gun, then he/she is an outlaw and should be arrested" Honestly thought this was an anti-gun sentiment the first time I saw the bumper sticker.

Oops, I Guess it Wasn't an Inside Joke
For about a week, I giggled fevershly each time my biology teacher said the word "organism" He would smile pitifully at me, knowing there wasn't anything sexual in the term. Thankfully, the rest of my peers were pretty much tuned out.

Don't Want to Know What Freud Would Think
I was in sixth grade when I was informed that I would need to bring a jock strap (my international friends might want to do a google image search here) to PE class. My mother bought me one, and I put it on. She smiled as sweetly as only a mother could when she realized I had put it on backwards.

Oh Rats, I Should Have Known Better than to Think Music Class Could be Cool
Even though it was Christmas time, I still missed this one by a mile. I was so excited leaving Music class as I was told we would be singing "Joy to the World" the next day. To my great dismay, it was the carol not the frog.

How in the World Do they Figure That Out?
I heard the term "paid vacation" and wondered honestly how they would determine how much to pay - what if I wanted to go to Hawaii? Why wouldn't I go to the most exotic, expensive place possible if they were paying for it?