Why do Americans Love Oral Sex so Much?

Not the picture you were expecting? Be patient. During my second year as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Jamaica, I was issued a motorcycle and began doing outreach on the western side of the island as a Field Officer for the national literacy agency. I set up new classes, did training, and visited existing sites. It was a lot of fun, and I got back to many remote places few tourists ever saw. I visited each site often, and developed a rapport with the teachers and students. Two nights a week, I would be off in the middle of nowhere working with literacy classes. As time passed, I began to get involved with various community development issues that related to our literacy curriculum. We learned how to boil water effectively, worked on parenting skills, discussed domestic abuse and many other issues. I didn't know it at the time, but someone in town (Montego Bay) was watching my progress carefully. It was another Peace Corps Volunteer who was working with the Jamaican Cancer society
She performed free PAP smears for women at a local clinic, and had a hard time getting women from the rural areas to come down to the city. She told me that many of the women believed that they would have IUDs secretly implanted or that they would even be sterilized by the nurses as a clandestine birth control program. She was very frustrated, as cervical cancer has a very high cure rate if detected early. When she first told me I could help her, I thought she was nuts. She worked on me for awhile, and I guess I came around.
Her proposal sounded far more simple than it ended up being: She would give me some of the "tools" she used to do a PAP smear and I would take those out to the classes, let the women see and touch them, answer some basic questions about the procedure, and exploit my good relationship for the good of womankind. As usual, my hubris was delighted and I agreed with little thought (terrible to have a disease you can't even spell!).
I visited her office and she gave me a crash course in basic PAP test 101. She showed me the speculum, the swab, the slides, all the instruments she used. Of course I did not get to see an actual procedure, but I got the idea. The phrase "visualize the cervix" stuck with me, even though I really didn't want it to. She loaded everything in a five gallon bucket and off I went. I had no idea I would shortly enter the whimsical world of "my mouth has just overloaded my rear end."
I went back to a small community about ten miles south of Montego Bay named Horse Guard. It was a comfortable place for me, I had been there many times, and we had done some successful community development activities. The pastor from a local church always helped out, and he was comfortable with the subject for the evening: he was excited at the prospect of encouraging the women to get into town for health screening. As a matter of fact, he recruited a larger than average audience, and I was actually a bit nervous when it finally hit me what I was about to attempt. The pastor introduced me and I walked to the front of the room with my props.
I began by talking about disease prevention and general health. I then told them about the Cancer Society office and the nice nurse waiting for them. I reached into the bucket and told them I had a surprise - as I pulled out the speculum they just stared at me, they had no idea what it was. Now I would challenge anyone at that point to describe the instrument and its use in front of a large group, mostly women. When it dawned on them what I was driving at, there was a slow rising giggle that turned into a wave of laughter, as only Jamaican women humiliating a white boy can. They had a great time that must have lasted several minutes. I waited patiently until the pastor came forward and muffled the chaos. I don't think the redness in my face helped matters at all.
Eventually, we covered the material, and the women had a lot of good questions. They came forward, touched the speculum and swab, even waving them at each other good naturedly. I thought I had survived the ordeal until the pastor suggested we discuss birth control methods. He knew I was acquainted with the Billings Method, and he thought the women were comfortable enough to discuss more sensitive issues. I did a quick overview of the method, and listed several other options. The pastor then asked them what methods they practiced. I was astonished at their candor and at the "creativity" of their beliefs. I don't remember everything, but I do remember one woman telling us how she kept a large wash basin half full of water and vinegar at the foot of the bed. When her husband "finished his work", she would jump off of the bed and sit in the basin for twenty minutes. Several other women indicated that they did something similar.
We talked for quite awhile and they asked a lot of questions about fertility and ways to get pregnant, or to insure the birth of a boy or girl. I was steadily getting my feet back under me when a very small, young woman in the back who had said nothing to that point blurted out "why do Americans love oral sex so much?" I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say, and that same tide of laughter rose and crested again. It was a good time to quit. I called the pastor back to the front of the room and he thanked me and the women gave me a very warm applause. I packed up and was about to leave when my curiosity got the best of me. I caught the young woman on her way out of the room and asked her why she asked me the question. She thought she was in trouble, but I assured her it was fine. She was very shy, and told me she couldn't tell me but she could show me why she asked. Normally I would not have touched that with a ten-foot pole, but she seemed so genuine, so sincere. I told her ok and she asked me to wait in the room for a few minutes. I said I would wait and stayed behind and chatted with the pastor who was delighted with the way the evening went. He told me it was good that they had laughed and were able to ask their questions and discuss their beliefs without being ridiculed. I felt a bit better (but fully resolved to quit the birth control business).
About twenty minutes later, the woman returned with a small bag. She handed it to me, blushing. I took the bag and glanced at the pastor. He smiled and I reached down into the bag to reveal its contents. It was an American porn magazine she told me her boyfriend had brought home. I gently put it back in the bag and begged her not to judge all Americans on that magazine. I explained that the magazine was not typical, and that Americans were probably not much different than Jamaicans when it came to those things. She smiled, turned and walked out. It was a poignant, awkward bit of cultural exchange.
The community of Horse Guard continued its literacy and community development classes, and I made a few more appearances, but on carefully selected topics. No one teased me again or reminded me of the evening, and I realized just how honest and authentic those people were. I envied them.
I was told that several of the women eventually came down for PAP smears, and the nurse was very pleased. I was happy that my embarrassment yielded some positive results. Never again have I or will I be floored by a question by a student though............